“Here I am, Lord!” Three years ago today, I was called in the cathedral to be ordained. It was a beautiful moment for a man to get married to Jesus. Although many memories become alive, the most memorable moment was when I laid down myself on the sancturary. The congregation sang, “Veni Sante Spiritus” (Come, Holy Spirit), calling all saints to intercede for the ordinands. My nose hit the cold marble floor and I wondered, “Who am I? How come God called me to be his son?”
There is an expression in Korea. “A dog can recite words if it stays in the academy for three years.” Last three years, I have learned a lot about being a priest in preaching, ministering and serving. But, I still see myself long way to go to grow and to be more compassionate. I have hurt many because of my self-centeredness; I have not listened to others because of my own problems. I may recite some words, and yet I doubt if it truly comes from my heart all the time.
In the morning of the ordination day, four deacons to be ordained gathered in the chapel of Bishop Lennon’s residence. We did the morning prayer together. It was the scripture reading that thundered in my mind.
“None of us lives as his own master and none of us dies as his own master. While we live we are responsible to the Lord, and when we die we die as his servants. Both in life and in death we are the Lord’s. That is why Christ died and came to life again, that he might be Lord of both the dead and the living” (Roman 14:7-9). Let it be done to me according to your will, Lord. Amen.