When was the last time you knelt down before someone? Kneeling down is not usual action we take. Apparently, kneeling down before someone means to submit yourself or surrender yourself or admit that you are inferior to someone, so kneeling down has a negative image in general. In Asia, if a king lost a war, the king was forced to kneel down before the enemy as a sign of surrender which was disgrace and shame. A grown man doesn’t do that. Some kneeling down, however, could change life.
After entering the seminary, I became a leader of the Sunday school at my home parish during summer and winter vacation. I myself was a Sunday school teacher for a couple of years before the seminary, so I was confident in working with the teachers, guiding them and conducting events. During summer, we prepared for a summer camp, taking two hundred kids out to the mountain for three nights and four days which was a daunting task. We all worked hard. But somehow I started seeing that the teachers were not like used to be: they missed the meetings, making excuses; they were not responsible for the jobs they were in charge; they were not really enthusiastic overall. Although I didn’t like it, I didn’t know how to deal with it, pushing them harder. We conducted a Christmas festival and climbing up the winter mountain as well during which I was more disappointed with the teachers. And finally in February the new Sunday school teacher’s conference came which indicated if you attended the conference you desired to continue to serve as a Sunday school teacher. But many expressed that they didn’t want to go to the conference. I became outrageous but I didn’t know how to express it, so I held it in my heart. And then I invited all the teachers to go to the remote area to rest in a prayerful atmosphere, so to speak, alluring them into a trap. Since I held disappointment, hatred, and grudge, the prayerful time became a way for me to revenge them in the name of spiritual renewal. Here in the remote countryside, I set very strict rules to follow—no talk, no snacks with a tight schedule. The culmination of my revenge was to wake them up in the middle of night and made them do the Stations of the Cross in the mountain. It was very cold and the heavy cross was not easy to carry. Some female teachers started weeping; the male teachers were deadly silent, sweating and panting. I felt sorry for them a little. After coming back to the retreat house, I fed them. They all looked like poor children to me. And I conducted a ritual of reconciliation. The essential part of it was for me to kneel down and to wash their feet. Kneeling down before my enemy, I encountered something that I never imagined.
When they took off their socks, their feet became so real to me. It was first of all dirty and smelly because of the hard work outside. And it was red as well because of minor frostbite. But most of all the feet seemed to tell me who they were for they were not prepared for foot washing, so their feet were very shy and timid as well as innocent. Looking at their feet, I realized my anger was useless and rootless and I was so cruel. I just struggled with my own ambition and pushed the little ones to the end for my own satisfaction. Started weeping for my own sins, I kindly washed each beautiful foot and kissed it. So redemptive was kneeling down!
One of the other significant kneeling downs took place in Madagascar, Africa. When I traveled to one of the poorest countries in the world as a member of Catholic Relief Services, my gut reaction was stressful. So much poverty, injustice overwhelmed me until I heard the prayer during the Eucharist. Msgr. Joe audibly said when he poured water into the wine, “Through the mystery of the water and wine, may we come to share in the divinity of Christ who humbled himself to share in our humanity.” My tears burst out when I heard that because it was the answer that the terrible humanity was not abandoned but made whole because of the humble Jesus. The following day, we went to a homeless shelter where hundreds homeless gathered for a meal. We were invited to serve the meal for them. I knelt down before the homeless to scoop rice. After feeding them, we all danced together, holding hand in hand. There were neither givers nor receivers; all were brothers and sisters. It was a transformative moment for me to grow from an observer to a brother for the poor by kneeling down to serve them. So redemptive was kneeling down!
The last kneeling down occurred here in Cleveland. I was the one who had wanted to succeed in business and to be a great man for the world. With the grace of God, however, the road to success was diverted from myself to God and I found myself kneeling down before the bishop to be ordained as a useless servant. What a transformative moment! I surrendered myself, decided not to claim anything about myself, commending myself into the hands of God. Since then I kneel down everyday before the Lord through the Eucharist.
Kneeling down could be humiliation. But I would take it with joy and hope everyday that I would become more Christ-like someday. Jesus is the way, the truth and the life. In giving himself up, humbling himself, he feeds us. He kneels down before us everyday to feed us. What a redemptive kneeling down that we celebrate today!
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