One night after visiting the Bingo, I saw the big snow coming down, so I made a snowman in front of the school. On the following day, the kids were so excited, asking, “Fr. H.Paul, did you make the snowman?” Yes, I did, my friend. I explained his name was John. And I happened to say that Paul was on the way which had me obliged to make two snowmen later which I did. I have played not only the sports with them but also the guitar to add some more joyful noise in their concerts. They were so kind to mention: “Fr. H.Paul, good job.” Thank you, my friend. And I had taught 7th grade PSR last year. They all call me father.
Everyone calls me father. The people at St. Anthony have been beautiful by being so kind and loving to me. The Social Concerns Committee has been inspirational by their dedication and service to the poor. RCIA journey with the seekers of God was great. Tuesday cleaners are always hospitable. The staff including Sr. Kathryn and Gene the perfect always makes me busy to be out of trouble, making me feel comfortable and laugh. Despite my lack of readiness to work with them, they still call me father.
I have celebrated every day with you. Daily mass and Sunday Eucharist, Saturday reconciliation, infant baptism, first communion and confirmation have been a big part of my priesthood which has brought me much joy and happiness. Especially visiting and anointing of the sick including First Friday Calls and the funerals have meant something special to me. I, as a young priest, have learned so much valuable lessons from the elderly and the sick. “Oh, Father, don’t get old,” “Oh, Father, how cute you are. I can eat you up.” the elderly joked about their slowness, teasing me. And the one in the hospice asked me, “Father, am I going to die?” Often I find myself wondering, ‘What would Jesus do if he were here?’ But I know it is my duty to find the way to be and walk with the sick and dying. The good friends whom I have buried here at St. Anthony had always called me father, asking my prayers. Rest and peace be with them!
But I have also called someone father. It is Fr. Dale who has been a good teacher, a hard work administrator and a brother priest. He used to tease me, saying, “I would like to get a Japanese associate. I have heard they are much harder workers.” Good luck for that, Fr. Dale! When I look back on the last and first two years that would be critical moments to my priesthood, especially I thank him for his teachings, particularly to have a pastoral heart. One night, I got a call asking me to come to anoint the sick at the hospital. I came down immediately and found a lady in the hospital bed who was eating chips. The crumbs were all over on her mouth, her gown and bed. I asked the lady where the family members were. She said they went home. I was a little upset why the family asked me to anoint their mother and left, looking at her eating chips. She just looked fine and I didn’t want to interrupt her feast. So I excused myself, saying to her the chaplain would be able to anoint her tomorrow and I let him know about her. And then I came back and reported it to Fr. Dale, expecting to get an approval of my judgment. After careful listening, he asked me whether I anointed or at least prayed for her. I said no, explaining why. He said then that the sacrament should have been celebrated regardless of the situation because we were called to do God’s work not our own work. He continued to say that we were servers to do what we were asked not judging and weighing people according to our perception. I felt ashamed of myself, taking it to my heart. I have so many other occasions to see Fr. Dale’s compassion and dedication to the people, especially the sick and dying. I know that learning the pastoral heart my pastor has is one of many valuable lessons I have had. St. Anthony is indeed blessed to have such a compassionate priest as its pastor.
Everyone calls me father including Fr. Dale. I know it is a time to tell the truth in which I would like to take back the words that I said about two years ago: “I am the one you have been waiting for.” Simply admitting, I am not the one you have been looking for. When I meet you Sunday after Sunday, presiding the mass, preaching and distributing the body of our Lord, my growing understanding of who I am has changed. Intimately I have gotten to know you deeper and deeper as I look at your eyes and touch your hands every Sunday during the communion. Sometimes, your hands talk more about you: hard workers’ thick and rough hands, mothers’ caring hands, children’s small hands, lovers’ soft hands, elders’ warm and shaking hands, and the faithful humble hands which made me understand what it means to learn the meek and humble heart of Jesus. I am here simply channeling God’s love for you by being a useless servant. When I touch your hands and look at your eyes, I encounter many hands and eyes of Jesus. I am not the one you have been waiting for. For sure, however, you have been the one I have been looking for because you show me the hands and faces of Jesus for whom I am called to serve.
Everyone calls me father that humbles me because it seems Jesus would call me father as well. I know the Lord would do. And I also know the people will continue to call me father in the church and in the sick bed, in the school and the playground. I am truly honored to be called father, especially your father, seeing my own weakness and sinfulness.
I am not the one you have been waiting for. You already have the one in you; I testify that I have seen the one’s eyes and hands Sunday after Sunday. How blessed for me to be with friends of Jesus, my stronghold, my fortress, and my master!
(The alter servers will be at the mass)
If I have done something, it is the love of Jesus that always leaves a significant mark in lovers. I would like to invite my servers to experience this love: sacrificial, growing and fulfilling. There are certainly some of you who are enriched with happiness by finding how to serve God and others. I have seen your excellence in service and your desire to be men and women for others. The whole world is our home that I have tried to teach you. If you pursue God’s dream for you, we will meet someday in the corner of a little village to serve the poor. You remain in my prayers and I would be yours as well.
It keeps coming and growing into a stronger, truer self that God calls me to do His work. The call keeps expanding to follow, to imitate, and to embody Jesus Christ as a living man. There is nothing more beautiful than to be surprised by the Good News of Jesus and to talk to others about our friendship. And I am still learning and growing to hear God’s call in the burning bush, in the suffering of others and in daily life.
My friends, now it is time to set my sails and brace myself for a riveting ride again. It is exciting as well as scary. Who knows to what shore God will take me? But I believe if it is not scary and surprising and an adventure all—life is either a daring adventure or it’s nothing—at the same time, it would not be the call of the Gospel of Jesus. I will enjoy the ride. Ride with me. Thank you.