Looking back on our immaturity, I see a common ground where many could relate themselves to us. When people pass through adolescence, they build a special bond with peers. It seems a first breakthrough in which one experiences a different kind of relationship that one doesn’t have before. The mentality of “I want this. This is mine.” is challenged to form the different relationship, that is, we. “We are friends. This is ours.” solidifies the bond of friendship. We feel safe, acknowledging to belonging to a certain group of people. People usually don’t do things that are irrational and unthinkable by themselves but with friends it is always possible and even fun to do.
Thanks to human nature and God, however, this stage of immaturity is supposed to move on to a higher level of relationship. The way of thinking and acting in terms of “only you and me” grows to a communal relationship that requires service and self-sacrifice. I now understand the elder’s belief in Korea that man cannot become adults until they get married and have children. Unless my most friends freely or dutifully gave up their freedom to remain bachelors for their marriage, they wouldn’t be adults and fathers who have to learn to freely give and love. Without many sleepless nights because of the infants’ wailing, constant care for the babies, sharing responsibilities to raise the kids with their wife, my friends would be the same guys who constantly pursue excitement and pleasure for themselves. They have finally grown up to be adults which is only possible by living for others not for themselves.
But there are many adults who still want to remain in the immature world where “I” and “we” are dominant against “you.” Someone who constantly talks about oneself or someone who believes he or she is the most important person in the world or someone who thinks everyone else exists for him or her is the case. We know there are still many like these. And the other case would be a selfish peopling or grouping. For only our family, for only our company or our community and even only our country make sense to certain people. Think about Wall Street that the insiders have built up illegal and immoral bonds for themselves, spending astronomical money only for themselves. Besides we, there would be no chance for others to grow and to flourish at all for those.
Thanks to God and Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit, however, we know it would not be our final destiny. There are other ways to live that many take in giving and self-sacrificing. People are willing to be adults and fathers to treasure and to nurture other lives. To be a father is to be self-giving that I have learned like my friends. It takes time, energy, and the whole being to be the good and true father and mother that we all know from our experiences. It doesn’t mean that man should get married and have children. Rather, it means to give up choosing oneself so that others can take opportunities to grow through us. It is one of the true human natures—one could be better and greater not by focusing on oneself but by giving up oneself for the sake of others. And we have the witness for that in a man, the true man. His name is Jesus.
If I can say only one thing about God’s nature in terms of Trinity, I would like to say that without the communal love God cannot be God because we confess God is love. What kind of love is that if it means “only for me” or “only you and me” instead of giving up oneself for others. So it makes a sense to say that God the Father is lover, God the Son beloved and the Spirit love among them. In other words, the Fire is burning in the Son and it flashes forth through the Spirit. Thus God is the model of human nature. Without God we wouldn’t be us; without us God wouldn’t be God at all. Jesus promises, “I am with you always until the end of age” because without us he could have done nothing.
So let us praise and give thanks to God who is willing to share the life and the love with us, promising to be men and women for others.